


Insane, With Horrible Intervals of Sanity

by Aloneindarknes7



Category: The Losers (Comic), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, Insanity, M/M, spoilers for the comic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-09
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-09 11:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aloneindarknes7/pseuds/Aloneindarknes7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was almost like a dream come true. But there aren't happy endings for the Losers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insane, With Horrible Intervals of Sanity

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Безумие с невыносимыми проблесками рассудка](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3599262) by [ShotaLouch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShotaLouch/pseuds/ShotaLouch)



> Because the end of the comic broke my heart so I need to break everyone else’s heart too. Also this is a combination of family based off of the movie and the comic for Pooch.

After they had officially told Stegler to fuck off, and man did that feel good to say to his face, Pooch had decided that all unfinished business was finally finished, except for Aisha but really that bitch would never be finished until the world was a perfect Amazonian wonderland made in her image. Jensen had hugged his friend, his last and only friend, tightly and told him to send his regards to Jolene, that he would see them for Thanksgiving in a few months like he promised. 

They had parted and Jensen went island hopping around the Caribbean, because why not? After all the shit he had been through, he deserved to do whatever he wanted, so he did. So night after night, he got as drunk as possible. Some mornings he woke up with a stranger in his bed but he would always stare at that person and understand why his drunken nature had thought they were perfect; black hair around the shoulders or the exact same skin color or even the eyes and one person simply had a cowboy hat. 

He would then do stupid touristy things all day that he had never been able to do despite being everywhere around the world; sit at the beach, buy snow cones and ice cream and more beer, snorkeling, surf lessons, and more. His surf instructor was from Mexico, he had learned, and that had been enough for Jensen to invite him out drinking one night and then waking up next to him the next morning.

One morning, he woke up alone in bed, and that was common too, but someone was in his room. He had the gun under his pillow in his hand and was sitting up pointing it into the shadowed corner before he even had his glasses on.

“I’m glad you finally learned not to forget your gun,” the shadow in the corner spoke and the gun in Jensen’s limp hand toppled to the bed at the familiar accent.

“No,” Jensen blinked, “There’s no way. It can’t be. I’m still dreaming.”

“You’re not dreaming,” Cougar stepped into the light that the crappy blinds still let in from the window, revealing himself.

Jensen scrambled for his glasses at the bedside table and then pinched himself hard. But Cougar was still there, looking as perfect as he had before everything had gone down the shitter, before he had _died_. Ripped blue jeans but not fashionably torn, no, they had been ripped through stunts, fighting, and hard work. A navy long sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows because the heat of the Caribbean might not bother him too much but it was still pretty hot. And then the cowboy hat, sitting perfectly on his head and not blown up in a nuclear bomb. 

“You fucking bastard,” Jensen had tears in his eyes as he scrambled out of the bed and tackled the other in a hug. 

He didn’t need explanations, he didn’t care that it was scientifically impossible to survive a nuclear bomb that had been in his fucking lap, he didn’t give a shit about anything like that when Cougar hugged him back and whispered, “I won’t leave you again. Prometo.”

Jensen sobbed and hugged Cougar tighter.

_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was perfect and just like old times, the good old times and he didn’t care how cliché that was. It was back before the mess that their lives had been; back before they had “died” and back before Cougar had _died again_. They did everything together. Sat on the beach together, did stupid touristy things that Jensen still wanted to do, and went out together.

Jensen would talk the entire time and Cougar would smile, nod, and maybe offer a word or two, in both English and Spanish, before Jensen continued to talk. Cougar never really talked to other people, Jensen would even have to order his meals when they went out, but that was normal too. Even if it got him some looks from the waitresses and waiters.

People stared at them everywhere and Jensen figured it was because of Cougar’s hat, because they were holding hands, because he still never shut up, because they were the oddest and greatest couple ever. Jensen started to love life again the moment he held Cougar. He was actually happy.

They went to Pooch and Jolene’s for Thanksgiving and that’s when things got weird. Cougar had frowned at him as they had stepped off the plane to America. “I shouldn’t be with you and them,” Cougar had muttered, squeezing Jensen’s hand which seemed to always be connected with his ever since they had been reunited.

“Please, I know Jolene is going to cut you a new one for not calling ahead of time but I know there’s enough room at the table for you to join us.” Jensen chuckled even as he ignored the funny look from the old lady standing next to them waiting for a taxi. Once they got into a taxi, Jensen grumbled angrily as they pulled away from the curb. “Man, I love little old ladies, they remind me of my own grandma, rest her soul, and all, but I can’t stand that they’re so close minded still. Times change, people are gay and out now. Get over it, grannies.”

“Yo, buddy, I don’t mind you being gay. My wife’s brother is gay too and he’s still a great dude, but you might still want to be careful who you say that to.” The cab driver advised. “You don’t wanna run into the dumb, homophobic guy itching to pick a fight.”

“Thanks for the warning, but I can handle myself.” Jensen smirked. “And if I do get too in over my head, well, my boyfriend can back me up and then we’d really kick some ass.” Jensen chuckled as he earned a grin from Cougar from the otherwise quiet man.

“Alright, just making sure,” the driver nodded as Jensen jumped to another topic in his normal fashion and rattled on and on until they pulled up to the curb of Pooch’s house, white picket fence and all.

“Have yourself a good one,” Jensen tipped the driver well as the man waved and sped away. “Prepare yourself for a tongue lashing, Cougs.” Jensen warned. “The Pooch isn’t going to be as forgiving as I was by your re-appearing act after thinking that you were dead for years, but that’s because he doesn’t get yay-you’re-not-dead-sex. Well, yeah actually, he probably did get that from Jolene but, you know, he’s not going to get it from you so he’s going to be angry.” Jensen chuckled as he knocked on the door and waited.

“Jensen.” Jolene pulled him into a tight hug and then held him out at arm’s length to look him over. “It’s great to see you! But I told you to call us when you landed; you know we wouldn’t have minded picking you up.”

“Nah, Cougar and I caught a cab easily enough.” He grinned.

“What?” Confusion filled Jolene’s face and Jensen stepped to the side to reveal the quiet man standing behind him with a “Ta-dah!” motion of his hands. Jolene’s face scrunched up more and Jensen chuckled.

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either when I first saw him.” Jensen grinned widely and then had his knees tackled by two screaming and laughing girls. “Girls!” Jensen picked them both up and spun in a circle, making them scream louder. “Look how big you’re getting.”

“Jensen, go get Lin from the backyard and let him know to stop checking his phone every five minutes for you to call.” Jolene ordered him as she continued to look over his shoulder.

“M’am, yes, m’am.” He grinned as he continued to carry the girls. “You’re in trouble,” he teased Cougar, knowing that Jolene was probably going to chew him out in privacy.

“Yo, Pooch! I’ve got a surprise for you.” Jensen grinned as he stepped into the backyard. 

Pooch grinned as he bounced his son on his knee. “Is it supposed to be you or the fact that you’re still in shape enough to carry my girls around?” He joked as he stood.

“Hilarious,” Jensen beamed as he placed the girls down. “Man, mini-Pooch is getting big too.”

“Stop calling him that,” Pooch rolled his eyes. 

“But you’re both bald; until this little man starts growing hair, he is your mini-clone.” Jensen teased. “Now come on, we’d better go save Cougar from your wife.”

“Cougar?” Pooch’s eyes went wide.

“Yeah, I know, right?” Jensen grinned and lead the man and kids back into the house just in time to see Jolene and Cougar standing in the living room by where Jensen had dropped his bag. Jolene was holding a hand over her mouth and Jensen knew she was trying to hold back tears. He had cried when he had first seen Cougar too. After all, they had gotten someone back from their team from hell itself.

He saw Pooch and Jolene exchange looks before Jensen cleared his throat. “I know you probably didn’t make up a room for Cougar, but we don’t mind sharing.” He laughed, “I actually don’t think I can go a night sleeping without him anymore, so I’m just gonna drop our bags into the guestroom. Third one on the left down the hall, right?” Jensen asked as he took Cougar’s bag from him and picked up his own.

“Yeah, right,” Pooch muttered and began walking towards Cougar. Jensen smiled and let them have their moment as well. He mentally bet twenty bucks that Pooch cried too.

Cougar came into their room a moment later with a hard grin on his face. “Hey, man, you had to get it over with. Besides, look at how much they missed you. And did you see how big the kids are getting? Shit, makes me miss my niece, but I can’t go back to New Hampshire. My sister would want us to settle down and well, I never really wanted to settle in the east coast. I always felt more like a west coast type of guy, and not just because of California, although we do need to go there. We should go during San Diego Comic Con!” Jensen decided in a moment of brilliance before he wrapped his arms around Cougar’s neck and kissed the scowl away. “We should totally do a couples cosplay. Or maybe a crack ship one? Like I could be Human Torch from Fantastic Four, despite his overly gay catchphrase, and you could be some cowboy or something because there’s no way you’re going to get into a cosplay in front of people, huh?”

“No way,” Cougar agreed before locking his lips over Jensen’s just to get the other to stop thinking about possible cosplays.

Jensen groaned into the kiss and that was when Pooch opened the door. “Hey, Jensen,” he paused as the two broke apart.

Blushing slightly, Jensen grinned sheepishly. “So, um, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell got repealed and I know it doesn’t matter now, but if we were still a Special Ops team then Cougar and I would totally be out. It doesn’t bother you, right?”

Pooch shook his head and smiled sadly. “I always knew there was something between you two. Me and, uh, Rogue had a running bet on which one of you would make the first move.” He rubbed the back of his head and forced an awkward chuckle. “The only reason Clay didn’t bet was because of the whole DADT thing, actually, but he knew too.”

“Oh good, because as soon as gay marriage is legal, like, anywhere livable in the states, we’re going to tie the knot, I’ve already decided.” Jensen giggled at Cougar’s surprised look. “I didn’t want the best man to be surprised or anything. And there’s no way I’m letting go of Cougar again.” Jensen grabbed Cougar’s hand and Cougar squeezed back. “Not now that I finally have him again. I’m not letting any chances pass by this time.”

Pooch nodded his head as he turned around in the doorway. “Why don’t you two come outside for some beers while I start up the barbeque?”

“Sounds awesome,” Jensen and Cougar followed after him.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“What are we supposed to do, Jolene?” Pooch asked as he watched Jensen toast the air and laugh outside. 

“He needs help,” Jolene chopped at the lettuce dutifully. “A professional that specializes in PTSD or something, someone who can help him through this.”

“Who is Uncle Jake talking too?” Pooch frowned as he turned to his daughters.

“Sweethearts, Uncle Jake is talking to his imaginary friend, his imaginary friend who he thinks is Uncle Cougar.” Pooch glanced at Jolene. “And for now we need to play along and pretend with him until we can get Uncle Jake some help, okay?” The two nodded before they continued to grab the paper plates and plastic silverware for dinner outside.

“Yo, Pooch, Cougar says the burgers need flipped or they’re gonna burn. And we know not to touch the Pooch’s grill ourselves,” Jensen smirked as he ducked his head inside.

“You got that right,” Pooch forced on a smile as he went outside and to his grill.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Jensen stared into his empty cup of coffee and across the booth at Cougar’s own which had started to cool but remained untouched. “I am crazy, aren’t I?” He watched as Cougar frowned but nodded slightly, nothing more than the dip of his hat.

Nodding himself, Jensen sighed. “I thought so, it made sense considering nothing has been making sense.” He laughed dryly and then met Cougar’s eyes with a sudden amount of fear and desperation. “But I’m happy this way.”

Cougar reached across the table and gripped Jensen’s hand. “Then we can stay this way.” Jensen smiled.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Time for your meds, Mr. Jensen,” the orderly handed him the small paper cup with the three pills in it. The little black one, the white one, and the little blue one. Jensen smiled and popped the pills into his mouth and then took the small paper cup of water to swallow them down, opening his mouth to show that they were gone.

Waiting until the orderly had moved to deliver the next meds, Jensen slid the pills out from under his tongue and placed them into the paint he was using, mixing them in to dissolve into the colors. He painted every day because they wouldn’t let him near a computer so he had needed a new hobby. His pictures weren’t that good, but they were always about Cougar, even if it was just a cowboy hat in the middle of a very red background.

“I won’t let them take you away from me, Cougar, not with death, not with pills, not with anything.” Jensen promised as Cougar wrapped his arms around him. Cougar was the only one not dressed in the horrible uniforms that the patients had to wear. “We’re going to be together forever, and that’s all that matters.” He leaned back into Cougar’s embrace as he continued to paint. 

Jensen had finally found a little peace of mind with being insane. It wasn’t the best happily ever after, but after everything he had been through, it seemed like the best he was going to get. And that was good enough for him and Cougar.


End file.
